Potty training Montessori way

Toilet learning - two steps forwards, one step back

Thank you from the underside of my heart of all of funny stories, tips, suggestions, your kind remarks and words of heat and encouragement regarding my post on travelling with a toilet learning toddler.
As I mentioned we weren't just travelling, we were travelling last minute, I was travelling with the boys without my husband (thus feeling extra vulnerable) and we were also grieving for member of the family who is no longer with us. Gosh, I'm having trouble holding back the tears . Just how did we go?

We left home at about 4.30am. I consider this to be night , and so I kept Otis in a nappy. But into the vehicle we went straight from the plane and that I chose to keep on a nappy. Although he might make use of the potty at home he wouldn't signal in time for us to stop the automobile. It was well into the afternoon until he was out of a nappy. During our stay Otis in was in a blend of training trousers, panties and nappies. He seldom made it to the potty. We did not make much advancement. Now we are home the nappies are gone again (except for night). During our travels I learnt several things whom I wish to remember. You do not have to be a great or even a good parent all of the time. Consistency is important. Children need consistency to behave consistently. Kids must understand (quite clearly) what's expected of them.
A flexible and relaxed approach will help keep you calm.. I hope my next toilet learning post is saturated in success and high fives. It may be a while coming. But I am not putting pressure on myself or Otis. Now we're back to a familiar routine plus our own home environment toilet learning with that highly popular consistency can be continued by us.
Travelling with a toilet learning toddler - give strength to me. We all know the sensitive period for toilet learning is 12-18 months. Eek, Otis is now 17 months and although we've been doing well (by our standards) things are still a bit hit and miss.
Otis wears underpants or training pants in the home. When we're from the house Otis normally wears training trousers. For his night slumber he wears a nappy. At home it is occasionally made by him to the potty. He understands when he needs to go. Sometimes the potty will be looked at by him and sometimes he'll look at me and next thing we know there is a pool on the floor. But progress is being made by him and we're happy with where we're at. Last night we received some terrible news. We shall be flying out to be with family, first thing tomorrow. Together with all the craziness of making and unexpectedly packaging arrangements I nearly gave myself permission to go back to nappies full time. We've got a flight to catch, longs drives ahead of us. Many hours will probably be spent in the homes of family. I'm afraid while we're away, that Otis WOn't make use of the potty. That the preparation, washing and cleaning will be a waste of time. But if we go back to nappies what message does that send to Otis? I am aware a toilet learning toddler is nothing to be embarrassed by. But as we are toilet learning before than others it feels like we possess a point to demonstrate (and that we shall fail miserably). My family are totally comprehending, I understand there isn't any shame in having a toddler not make it to the potty. There is no shame in wet trousers. I am aware my family will support me and Otis.

Toilet Learning Pants

Along with shoes we also purchased these toilet learning pants from Michael Olaf.
Although as you'll be able to see they have been bulky and absorb much like a nappy Otis or I may tell he was wet Otis has been wearing training pants for some time such as the red ones in this post. I had been looking for pants that were;
Absorbent enough there is no pool but the kid feels wet
Simple to view the kid is wet
Slimline, not in any way bulky
Simple to get on / off, even to get a very young kid
Made from natural fibers
Cozy
These trousers are perfect for all of us. They have been produced from organic cotton and so far no pools. Not even a wet bed. Although I really don't intentionally have him sleep in them. I normally shift him before bed, sometimes I do not get a chance.
Otis only wears them when we're at home. I am able to see when he is wet and have worked out a little pattern when he's in training trousers. Otis is also very alert to when he needs to work with the toilet (potty) but sometimes we do not make it in time. The pants also help with self confidence. We'll go put on a dry pair no issue if the pants get wet.
Otis wearing his training pants climbing into his walker wagon

Montessori Potty Toilet Learning

With a potty isn't necessarily a part of the Montessori approach to toilet learning. By using alternative adaptions or steps, it may work to make the toilet more reachable. If you're interested in toilet learning the Montessori way I advocate Toilet Knowledge and Toilet Leaning - The Montessori Strategy. I also advocate posts at Assistance to Michael and Life Olaf.
Toilet Learning - Our Journey in Summary It's likely this will be our last toilet learning post. Otis has stolen seamlessly (and without error) into night time toileting. We are at the end of our toilet learning journey. I have a few ideas and suggestions in case you are at the start of your journey. Absolutely every child is different so we must be flexible yet your approach as well as your attitude are most important. It is not luck that Otis is toilet trained. We're very lucky that I'm able to stay at home with him which helps and that he is healthy. But what got him 'trained' was determination, patience and consistency. Our first step in Otis toilet learning was to get him out of a nappy. Training slacks were vital in this procedure. Otis toilet learned in this and steps is a brief overview.
1. DAY: TRAINING PANTS (AT HOME) NAPPY (WHEN OUT) NIGHTTIME: NAPPY During the day at home training trousers were consistently worn by Otis. When we left the house during the day and at night he wore a nappy. While at home we offered him the potty and when he seemed like he needed to go (we recognised the signs - largely holding his trousers) we took him to the potty.
2. DAY: TRAINING TROUSERS NIGHTTIME: NAPPY We transitioned to Otis wearing training pants everywhere during the day. The training slacks he wore at this stage (from Michael Olaf but now discontinued) held so there were no puddles but Otis desired tending to instantly. At this stage he was still wearing a nappy through the night.
3. DAY: PANTIES (AT HOME) TRAINING TROUSERS (WHEN OUTSIDE) NIGHT: NAPPY We transitioned Otis to wearing panties at home and simply when we left the house wearing training pants. The training trousers gave us confidence that if Otis had an accident most of it would be caught - no puddles on the shop floor, but Otis and his clothes would be wet. Otis was wearing Under the Nile Baby Training Pants (12-24 months). At this period he was wearing a nappy during the night. This was the longest period of three to four months.
4. DAY: PANTIES NIGHTTIME: NAPPY As Otis became more confident and regular at using the potty he transitioned to wearing panties all of the time during the day and wore a nappy at night.
5. DAY: PANTIES NIGHTTIME: PANTIES Otis became so confident going to the potty that at night he would take away his nappy. He transitioned to wearing panties all of the time. He will occasionally use the potty at night but generally waits until morning. He generally goes straight to the potty when he wakes up in the morning. I make an effort to restrict his fluids before bed but he still nurses before bed and during the nighttime. In addition , I ask him to make use of the potty before bed but he's stubborn and usually refuses. As I mentioned we would offer the potty when it appeared before we left the house and like he need to really go to Otis. Frequently when he wakes up from his nap or returns from outings he has to visit the potty straight away.
It was important to us that we remained (as much as possible) emotionally detached from the method. While I looked pleased when we had success it absolutely was important to us not to punish or praise. We also never forced Otis. I attempt to lead him to the potty, if he refused I'd leave him and usually he would wet his trousers and would take his hand if he seemed like he needed to make use of the potty but refused to do so. Then he would come with me to the potty to get changed. We never forced him to use the potty, we never used harsh words, threatened or bribed. If he wet his pants - he wet his pants, we simply got on with it. We've got a step stool and toddler seat on our toilet which Otis has started using. He uses the potty and the toilet standing and sitting. We've got a potty in the car which I offered to Otis before he was able to hold for a decent period. On every excursion I'd offer him the potty when we arrived and before we departed. He seldom used it. Lately he has shown that he is able to hold and regularly uses public toilets (school, sports stadiums, stores), although he likes to remove his underwear, trousers/short, shoes and socks and I am going to hold him while he sits on the toilet. You will know we've had up and downs and I've found going and finding us out of routine particularly difficult, should you read through our Toilet Learning Posts. There has been wreck and lots of cleaning up. But we're done at 22 months, it's totally worth it. If you're at the beginning or in the middle of bathroom learning, no matter which method you're using - I wish you the absolute best. P.S. I have had some essential looks when Otis has had an accident in public. No matter the exact age of the child - young or old, please be kind to other parents.

Toilet trained by two?

I adore having a toilet trained toddle. Life is so much more easy. All the perseverance and pain was worth it.
At 22 months I feel like I can say that Otis is toilet trained - daytime only. We haven't approached nighttime toileting but I must get to that shortly. It's been distressing. For about three months his toilet learning only plateaued. For three months I mean one or two mishaps everyday - by plateaued. I can't remember his last accident. He sometimes makes a wreck but that's related to clothing that is catchy or dare I say being a lad. He still wants help with his clothes. He also WOn't go anywhere other than a toilet or a potty. His preferable location is a real toilet. He uses a step stool along with a toddler seat when needed. Otis doesn't have accidents during his daytime naps once he wakes, but he'll generally go. Same with automobile excursions, once we return home he'll generally go right to the toilet.
Amongst his peers he's neither late nor early. I personally do not feel there is an age whereby a kid should be trained but I believe that once a child knows (when they need to go) and have control (over their bodily functions) they should be given the chance (to use the potty/toilet). Once a child can use the potty I believe it's disrespectful to put them in a nappy (therefore my wake up call to start nighttime toileting). Additionally it's summer here and summer is really so much easier than winter. I've consistently had two years as an expectation for my own children. Two completely coached Caspar. He night toileted readily. I am expecting the same with Otis. Yay to Otis and wish me luck with the nights.

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Toilet Learning Tricks

The aforementioned image is of the toilet learning area of Otis. We are employing a cube chair here (the other is in his dressing/care of self place) as Otis wants support when standing. The pail is for soiled clothes. You will read that a signal of preparation is walking. Otis isn't walking but definitely understands when he needs to use the toilet. I didn't need to waste this chance so have commenced toilet learning, and miss his clear sensitive period.
Camilla (mom of two) recently sent me these toileting tricks. I found them so useful I wished to give you. Maybe you will find them useful too? The Directors at Forest Bluff School have provided these tips for allowing me to print here, and I sincerely thank them.
Indirect groundwork for toileting From birth, alter your child's diaper as soon as she is wet to give plenty of indirect training (this can occasionally mean as often as every hour).
Using cloth diapers from the beginning helps immensely only because they feel wet instantly in acquiring awareness. This instant feedback helps the child make the link between the impulse to urinate and also the results of releasing her muscles. Toilet training thus occurs gradually, over time. Let her stand while her changes when your youngster is right at the age of pulling up to standing and talk about what you're doing, even demanding the kid at which you'll be able to. In this way, she can see what exactly is occurring and take an interest. Transfer the diaper changing to the bathroom when your child starts to stand and walk in the event that you might haven't done so already. It will help them make the appropriate associations between actions and location.